exquisite corpse number eleven
- preceded by part ten -
Don't go. I don't mean that in any kind of oh-please-don't-leave-me sense. I mean don't go, you don't know what you're doing.
I wasn't being disingenuous about the 'before' business. Okay, perhaps too philosophical, or sarcastic, or provocative, or whatever you want to call it. FINE. But the heart of the question is true: I don't understand the before. In fact, every day I'm understanding it less and less; it's as if the memory isn't real. As if it was never real. And what was beneath it is gone, erased.
It's strange that you say they all 'disappeared'. Like magic. Whereas in my mind it's more like a blink – a picture there and then not there. Was it ever there? What can I remember, and how can I trust any memory that must be coaxed?
You seem so much more sure of the whole thing. Yet at the same time, you sound panicked. Which tells me that, on some other level, you're just as lost as I am. More importantly, you don't really understand what you're suggesting by trying to leave. Especially when you don't know why you're still here. Think about that: why, really, are you still here?
What do you know about cognitive disorder? What do you know about mesmerism? When you look in the mirror, do you ever see a stranger? Do you know what mirrored self-identification is?
You've heard of hypnotic pain relief, surely. People even have teeth pulled, without any anesthetic at all.
Monothematic delusions have been induced under experimental conditions, both with straight hypnotic suggestion and with specific chemical triggers. Fact.
You're describing the the edge of town like it's some kind of supernatural crossing-over place. Crossing over to what?
Listen. The tower of wind might be the red dot in a hypnotist's trick. There are instances of mass delusions all throughout history. Whole tribes going over the cliff.
I don't know what kind of challenge would be effective in breaking the delusion.
I don't even know how much I can say to you about this. I know it's dangerous to challenge a clinical fantasy directly.
Did you have a good imagination as a child? How is your attention span? Do you meditate? Have you ever tried?
Turn this paper over.
Read what's on the
Read it three times.
Concentrate on the sound of my words
in your mind.
* * * * *
The audio for this chapter is here.
An explanation of the exquisite corpse concept (taken from the Surrealists) is here.
And then shimmering.